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Archive for the ‘impeachment’ Category

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest speech mankind has ever heard. And I will tell you this: THERE WAS NO COLLUSION.

Two years ago, a truly great American who now stands before you took office as President of the United States. This momentous event, witnessed by the largest audience ever assembled for anything, anywhere, came as a great beacon of light for millions of Americans who had lived through terrible carnage during previous administrations. It came as a joyous dawn to end the long nightmare that had caused blood to run in our veins, rapists to mow our lawns, and child traffickers to clean our hotel rooms.

But two years later, we find that the government is shut down. For almost a month, I have been crippled by the binding tentacles of Cryin’ Chuck and Nancy, and unable to fulfill the promises I made to my base. Seven-hundred-and-thirty days (and counting) after becoming president, too many white citizens still find themselves exiles in their own land.

In a sense, we’ve come to our nation’s capital, within a few short blocks of the Trump International Hotel Washington D.C., to ask for a loan. When I was looking for money for various real estate projects before I became president, it was only Russian mobsters and money launderers (very fine people, I might add) who were all too happy to bankroll me. Their loans were a promise to all grifters that no matter how many bankruptcies one had in the past, or legal judgments filed against them, they would still be guaranteed the unalienable right to get rich by stiffing contractors or through other dubious schemes — even while holding elective positions.

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Maybe this is so obvious it doesn’t bear mentioning. But it was only yesterday that I began thinking of Trump’s mendacity in a different way.

Appalled as so many others are by his constant lying, I’ve always assumed that it was a conscious choice — he could tell the truth if he wanted to, but winning all the time requires a different deliberative strategy. By now though he’s lied so much, the world he inhabits is total fiction. Trump can’t not lie. (How’s that for a double negative Mr. Grammarian-in-Chief!) To tell the truth would destroy the monument erected to himself by the most stable-smartest-greatest-genius-ever — the flimsiest of structures that would instantly collapse if it weren’t being constantly propped up by sycophantic praise and his own self-serving hyperbole. If he ever told the truth, he’d realize what a pathetic excuse for a human being he is, and we know that someone like him would never allow that to happen.

To wish, hope, or expect Trump to occupy the same room as truth — or to breathe a sigh of relief when he cracks open the door a bit — detracts us from this reality. It’s like the definition of insanity broadly attributed to Einstein: Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Given the personality disorder now known as POTUS, nothing’s ever gonna change short of a national intervention that sends him off to either rehab or a prison.

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I haven’t posted about Trump since January, mostly because it’s impossible to keep up with his daily abominations without getting paid for it. But just when you think he can’t sink any lower, he does.

Witness his just concluded overseas trip which he began by antagonizing and insulting our closest allies and ended by cozying up to his good pal Vladimir. If accepting the word of a murderous dictator above the conclusions of American intelligence agencies isn’t a classic example of giving aid and comfort to one’s enemies, I don’t know what is.

This must not become normalized, or allowed to fade from consciousness as new headline-making tweets compete for attention. This is serious — the stuff of treason and dereliction of duty, just as the denial of climate change is a failure to protect citizens from the destruction and havoc caused by global warming, the start of a trade war threatens the stability of the world’s economy, and repeated attacks on truth and American institutions savage our democracy.

Enough is enough! What more evidence of this man’s supreme unfitness for the presidency do we need? The United States cannot allow itself to be held hostage to Trump’s pathologies. It is time for our politicians to cease their empty speechifying and start acting like the first responders we need them to be . . . and for the electorate to stop feeding the beast.

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Dear God’s Gift to America,

As the Christmas holiday approaches, and your first year in office comes to a close with a mammoth tax cut for the wealthy and crumbs for the rest of us, I find myself thinking about:

  • young American citizens whose deported mothers or fathers won’t be able to watch them opening presents on Christmas day
  • DREAMERS whose lives are in limbo because you’ve ended their protection
  • victims of mass shootings and other gun violence whose numbers increase daily while you do nothing to address this deadly epidemic
  • women you’ve sexually molested or harassed and now defame as liars
  • the destruction of pristine wilderness areas your administration has opened to fossil fuel extraction
  • victims of hate crimes perpetrated by neo-Nazi’s, white supremacists, and religious extremists emboldened by your words and deeds
  • those who must forego health insurance, or suffer barely affordable premiums, now that you’ve sabotaged Obamacare
  • children who will lose life-saving medical care without CHIP funding
  • your unending assault on truth, scientific knowledge, basic decency, democratic institutions, and American values
  • weakened protections against toxic chemicals, air and water pollution, workplace and food-safety violations, and Wall Street greed
  • refugees fleeing war, oppression, famine, and gang violence who now find the door to America slammed tightly shut
  • adult women and girls in third-world countries deprived of needed health care due to drastic cuts in the US contribution to the United Nations Population Fund
  • human beings and animals everwhere whose lives and habitats are threatened because of climate change you call a hoax
  • a heavily polarized nation you show zero interest in uniting

It therefore seems fitting to wish you, Donald Jr., Eric, Ivanka, and Jared — grifters all — something for Christmas that the five of you have given to so many others: indigestion, gas, heartburn, diarrhea, nausea, heart palpitations, and nightmares.

And if Santa is in a particularly generous mood this year: backed-up toilets at Mar-a-Lago.

Now that would be a wonderful Christmas present for the American people.

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InSanity has recently discovered that after journalists were asked to leave Monday’s cabinet meeting—Trump’s first—a TOP SECRET directive was unanimously adopted by those in attendance. This was the session, you recall, when agency heads went around the table pledging fealty to Herr the president. Typical of their comments were these by Reince Priebus, chief of staff, and Tom Price, Secretary of Health and Human Services, respectively:

We thank you for the opportunity and blessing to serve your agenda.

* * *

Mr. President, what an incredible honor it is to lead the Department of Health and Human Services at this pivotal time under your leadership. I can’t thank you enough for the privileges you’ve given me and the leadership you’ve shown.

What has not been previously reported however is that afterwards, everyone was asked to stand and repeat the following oath:

I pledge allegiance to Donald Trump, the esteemed leader of the United States, and to the plutocracy for which he stands, one nation, ripe for plundering, its wealth and resources for the chosen few.

(This was reportedly the same pledge that His Excellency Trump had asked of former FBI director James Comey at their now infamous White House meeting in January.)

Sources also tell us that Betsy DeVos, US Secretary of Education, was so enamored of the pledge that her department is now drafting legislation mandating that all schools require students to recite it every morning before the Lord’s Prayer.

 

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