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From The ActionNetwork.org comes this useful town hall locator that tells you when and where a member of Congress is holding a public meeting for constituents.

And if you’re ever home at night wishing there was a rally or protest you could attend the next day if it weren’t too distant, or some meaningful mass action you could join without leaving your home, be sure to check out the Resistance Calendar, courtesy of Michael Moore.

One month into this presidential nightmare, our voices must not be silenced.

 

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Does the White House have any mirrors? I’m beginning to wonder.

Last week, the “Plutocrat-in-Chief” called several respected news organizations “the enemy of the American people.”

Maybe he should look in the mirror every once in a while — assuming he can see past his thin skin and narcissism — and ask who else might reasonably be considered a U.S. enemy.

How about someone who has:

  • Repeatedly lied to the American public
  • Attacked the judiciary, Muslims and other minorities, women, the disabled, war heroes, journalists, TV shows and performers, businesses, and intelligence agencies
  • Claimed that millions of people voted illegally in the last election despite all evidence to the contrary
  • Nominated unqualified/ethically challenged/ideologues (choose one or more) to head cabinet departments, and in some cases undermine their missions
  • Encouraged the rise of white nationalist hate groups
  • Carried on a bromance with Russia’s ruthless dictator Vladimir Putin
  • Refused to make public his tax returns
  • Created myriad conflicts of interest as president by retaining ownership of his far-flung business empire
  • Conducted sensitive diplomatic discussions in public at Mar-a-Lago
  • Demonstrated gross transition and governing ineptitude
  • Alienated trusted allies and large numbers of federal employees
  • Failed to reassure the majority of citizens who voted against him that he understands their concerns
  • Relied on senior advisors with zero experience in government
  • Presided over a White House staff marked by infighting and disarray
  • Struggled to fill key positions in his administration
  • Promoted a delusional dystopian vision of America
  • Slammed the door on refugees and immigrants escaping war, terrorism, economic hardship, and criminal violence
  • Called climate change a Chinese hoax
  • Dismissed Russian interference in the 2016 election as fake news

According to this column in the Washington Post, he wouldn’t even be granted a security clearance if he were applying for a White House position now.

If being a threat to American values and democracy were a crime, Donald Trump’s framed image in government offices would be replaced by a wanted poster — Public Enemy #1, hiding in plain sight. His ranting and ravings, insults and bullying, are nothing but the projections of a seriously unbalanced personality that is manifestly unfit for the presidency.

Projecting

Dear President Trump,

I understand you have reopened your search for a national security advisor and would like to submit my name for consideration.

As you will note in the attached resume, I have absolutely no governmental experience — much like you before being elected to office by a historically large margin. I’m also completely lacking in in-depth or even superficial knowledge of the issues that would fall under my purview if hired for this position. I say this, not to brag, but to point out how much I have in common with your senior advisors, Stephen Bannon and son-in-law Jared, and any number of your cabinet appointees.

Another thing in my favor is that I never read newspapers like The New York Times or Washington Post, or watch CCN — media that, along with SNL, you have correctly identified as enemies of the American people. I prefer to stay abreast 🙂 of current events by watching Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends, and checking out Breitbart News, which you can always count on for the unvarnished truth or alternative fact.

As far as handling sensitive policy matters goes, I believe that we’re definitely on the same wavelength. Why just the other day, my ex-wife and I had a screaming argument about alimony in front of other patrons at a local club. What’s more, the waitress took my side while delivering my glass of Trump Meritage and “accidentally” spilling coffee on the ex.

Which reminds me: Ivanka Trump is my go-to brand whenever I’m buying gifts for all my girlfriends. Nothing against Melania but I’d be happy to bring one or two of them along with me for an interview if you get my drift.

Thank you for taking time between golf rounds and watching the cable shows to look at my resume. Out of respect for your preferences, I’ve kept it one-page and 3 bullet-points long, and included a Google map to show where I live. Hiring me would go a long way towards fulfilling your campaign promise to bring back jobs — did I mention that I am currently a telemarketer in the Philippines?

With your permission, I’d like to end by being a bit poetic: If you’re in need of an octane booster for your fine-tuned machine of an administration, I’m definitely your additive.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Punch Line

Joke:

Question: Why was National Security Adviser Michael Flynn fired yesterday? Answer: Because he lied to Vice-President Pence.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I never realized the Butt-of-All-Jokes-in-Chief had such a good sense of humor himself.

Golf Diplomacy

Concluding a round of golf with Japan’s prime minister, Shinzo Abe, this weekend, President Trump had a forceful response to North Korea’s successful Sunday launch of an intermediate-range missile. “I said, ‘It won’t happen — the ‘so-called’ Pukguksong-2 wouldn’t go any farther than my par 4 golf drives and it didn’t,” the visibly angry president asserted. “My drive on the 7th hole went 350 yards, way beyond the distance that crooked, overrated, fake missile went.”

When it was pointed out to him that the South Korean military reported the rocket flew 310 miles before crashing into the Sea of Japan, Mr. Trump advised everyone to look at the big picture, 350 vs. 310, and not get bogged down in details. His stubborn insistence on an alternate reality provoked widespread outrage forcing both Vice-President Pence and senior advisor Kellyanne Conway to take to the airwaves in defense.

“Look, the President has a right to express his beliefs. That’s why the American public elected him,” said Pence on Meet the Press. Conway, in a contentious interview with Jake Tapper on State of the Union, questioned why the media was focusing on such an insignificant issue. “Why aren’t you talking about the 2 birdies he had, and the 4 gimme putts he gave the prime minister as a sign of support for Japan. We don’t hear any of that from the national media.”

Back at Mar-a-Lago, Trump tweeted he would make North Korea’s leader, whom he pointedly called “Kim Dong-un” pay dearly for his latest provocation, and that all options were on the table. In a hastily called follow-up news conference, press secretary Sean Spicer announced: (1) Additional sanctions would include a ban on U.S.-made golf balls and hair products; and (2) The immediate withdrawal of the Trump Organization, in which the president holds no management role, from a billion-dollar deal to develop a championship golf course and luxury condominiums just outside of Pyongyang, North Korea’s capital. “The president,” he said, “will always put our country’s interests before his family’s profits.”

Early reports from Pyongyang indicate that Kim Jong-un intends to retaliate by wearing knock-offs of Ivanka Trump shoes.

*****

UPDATE: Granted the above might rate a 10 on a scale of absurdity, but where does that place what actually happened at Mar-a-Lago this weekend after news about the North Korean missile test reached the president: between 6-7? He and the Japanese prime minister huddled with aides at their dinner table to discuss this sensitive diplomatic matter in full view of other Mar-a-Lago diners, and within easy earshot of waiters who were busy bringing entrées. News accounts suggest that numerous security protocols were violated including the use of flashlights on unsecured cell phones that were called into use due to the dim candlelight of the outdoor terrace.

One club member, Richard DeAgazio, posted photos on his FB page, and was both clearly wowed to be at “the center of the action,” and impressed by the president’s demeanor: “He chooses to be out on the terrace, with the members. It just shows that he’s a man of the people,” DeAgazio said. [Editor’s note: If by “people” you mean those who can afford a recently doubled initiation fee of $200,000.]

But maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on a president who’s been in office for less than a month. After all, what better place to deal with an international crisis than in a roomful of wealthy Floridians where the chances are high that a retired diplomat having dessert might be all-too-happy to lend assistance.

Nice to know too that Kool-Aid is one of the drinks served at Mar-a-Lago.

Marry-a-Lago

Last week, I spoke with the head of Mar-a-Lago’s Catering Department under the pretext of holding a wedding reception there. I began by telling her I was a big fan of the president, and was excited by the prospect of celebrating my daughter’s marriage at his famous club. Even though I wasn’t a member, I asked, would it still be possible to reserve the main ballroom? “That won’t be a problem,” she replied. “What date did you have in mind?” “We’re pretty flexible,” I explained. “You must be booked months in advance already, given all the Trump supporters who’d love for a special family occasion to be blessed by the president’s brand.”

Before diving into details, I asked if any Muslims were on staff. “Why do you want to know this,” she responded. “Terrorism, of course. But if you do have Muslim employees, I’m sure each was subjected to the extreme vetting President Trump says is necessary to keep Americans safe.” “Mar-a-Lago doesn’t discriminate,” she announced with considerable irritation before hanging up on me.

It was good to hear that Islamophobia isn’t running as rampant on Florida’s Gold Coast as it is in the current White House. My only hope is that the catering head went on to tell her friends and colleagues about the nutcase she spoke to earlier. Maybe she even mentioned it to her boss who was down for the weekend entertaining the Japanese prime minister.

One question I’m sorry I never got to ask though: Are guests allowed to carry guns at the reception?